The Sandwich Generation

I belong to the "Sandwich Generation". I'm starting to feel like bologna.
The phrase means you're taking care of kids and parents at the same time. It makes it sound like there's a slice of bread on each side, kids on one, parents on the other. I wish it was that simple. My sandwich would scare Dagwood.
I've been taking care of someone for 19 years now, and I don't think there's any end in sight.
When hubby and I got married, his grandmother was still alive. His parents lived across the street from her and took care of her. We didn't do a lot for her or his parents, but he felt that we couldn't live where we wanted to, because we needed to stay close enough to help when they did need it. We helped them make decisions when the vacuum salesperson came around, and if the cable went out, we made sure it was plugged into the wall before they called the repair service. He did a lot more for them than I did. We didn't buy a house right away, because his parents were going to move when his grandmother died. We all were going to move to the city I live in now.
After 5 years of marriage, we decided to have a kid and buy a house anyway. We lived in that house for 10 years before grandma wasn't with us any more.
By the time we had kids, his parents needed care too. Not anything full time, but enough that we couldn't go on vacation without worrying about them. By the time our oldest was 10, hubby's mom passed away and we were left to take care of his dad. His mom was sick for 6 years before she died. They maintained their own residence, but we did all we could for them. We worried about them.
Grandpa moved with us when we moved. We got a piece of property that had a small trailer for him on it. He lived with us for a year and decided to remarry and move to California.
By then, my grandmother needed care and my father who lived beside her did his best. She hired someone to stay with her, and that helped a lot, but she had a stroke and had to be moved to a full time nursing facility. I helped with the mountains of paperwork involved in getting her into the facility, and I visited as often as I could. I began calling myself a "patient liason", because I would go to the doctor's appointments with them and explain what he said and help them remember what he said later.
My grandmother passed away almost two years ago, my father has had a couple minor surgeries since then, but it was quiet for a little while. I still take my mom shopping, because she doesn't drive, but I only do it when I have to go to the store myself.
But, this weekend, my mom was in the hospital for "tests". She has severe osteoporosis, with 7 compression fractures in her lower back. She is in pain all the time, but it gets worse at night. She just can't do what she used to do.
I feel the need to do more for her now, but I'm just not sure how much I have to give.
My kids are teenagers now, and I thought I'd have more time on my hands. It turns out that I'm spending more sleepless nights with my daughter now than I did when she was a year old. It seems that 12 year-olds have a lot to talk about, but they only talk after 12:00 midnight.
My dad is 9 years younger than my mom. When she's not around, it will be his turn to need care, my hubby is only 20 years younger than him, and in poor health, so by the time my dad is gone, it will be hubby's turn to get the attention.
I have this horrible guilt. See, the only way I can not take care of them anymore, is for them to no longer need help. With the kids, they can learn to stand on their own and grow up. With the parents, it's not such a happy change. I never want any of them to think that I don't want to take care of them. But, I get tired.
This weekend, I stayed at the hospital with my mom. She doesn't like to be alone, my sister had to work, and my dad totally freaks out in hospitals. I didn't get the rest I needed sleeping in a recliner, and being awakened by nurses every couple hours. When I came home, my daughter was really emotional and I had to spend time with her. Hubby was worried about my mom and remembering how his mom went, so he got himself worked up into a migrane, that always makes me upset.
So, I slept in on Monday, and I cleaned house like a maniac today. Hopefully, I got all the fires put out, and tomorrow I can get back to my busy routine.
Sometimes you're the bologna, sometimes you're the bread.