Please Excuse Me, I'm in Mourning

I am mourning the loss of my dream.

My dream was to be a stay at home mom. It's all I ever wanted to do, just be a good mom and wife.

Being a housewife is very rewarding, but the pay stinks. The fact of the matter is that I have been struggling and juggling the budget for years, and it is time to pay the piper. I have to get a job that will pay the bills.

I saw this coming several months ago. I've been applying for stay at home jobs for a while, but I haven't had any sucess in finding one yet. I've been selling on Ebay, but the summer is always slow, and no matter how I write my business plan, I can't figure out a way to make enough after fees. So, I looked for less expensive ways to sell online, signed up for Etsy, and made my own website. But, as much as I want to stay at home and be an artist/designer, I have to face the fact that it will not make enough to feed the family now.

So, I am litterally crying as I email my resume to every available job. I am yelling at my family and resenting every responsibility I have. I am in general, being a real jerk to everyone around me. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it right now. I've lost something very important to me, my dream.