Last night, someone called my house and left a message on my machine. He said he was looking for someone with hubby's name and his mother, who had my name. From the little bit of info he left, I assume that he's looking for a long lost family member, probably a birth mother.
I called the number he left and got a machine myself. I left him a message that said I was sorry, but we weren't the people he was looking for. But, I wanted to do more for him.
Looking for a birth mother has to be so hard to do. Imagine just calling strangers to find out any information you can. To wonder with each call if it will be another dead end. To wonder whether it's easier to not find them, because if you find them, how will they react?
But, it's closure that some people need. It's the reason I never could have adopted a child. I think it's wonderful that some people can open their hearts like that. But, I don't think it's something that I could personally deal with.
I offered to blog about him, I thought that maybe we could all band together and help him find her. I wonder if he'll call back.
Probably not, I'll probably never know what happens. Well, I hope he finds whatever he's looking for. If not in his birth mother, then in himself.
Here's to a fruitful search, for everyone who's trying to find someone important.
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Boy, this hit home w/ me. I regretted, tearfully, for 25 yrs giving up a child for adoption when I was a teenager. The toll it took on me emotionally was overwhelming and so painful, I couldn't talk about her EVER w/out breaking down in tears, so I avoided the subject stubbornly... so when her biological father decided he needed to find her, and in time got her to agree to be in touch w/ me ('we' were NOT together - came close, but it didn't happen) the 'reunion' was so nervewracking I had to take a couple of very mild tranquilizers... from the 'mom's' perspective, I didn't know how SHE'D react to ME... ('how could you give me away??', etc.) Well, this has literally turned into a dream come true for me!! She's a big part of my life (my husband has always supported me in this part of my life, encouraging me to look for her but I never had the nerve or means to do it - so he's welcomed her w/ open arms into the family too), she's THRILLED to have 3 sisters (all teens, 15 - 19 yrs old) and they love her just as much, thrilled to have an older sister. (She'll be 33 this year.)This has been such a happy 'beginning' ... Our families (she is married, has a 7 yr old boy) have blended completely. It feels so wonderful. I wish success and much happiness for others debating or trying to accomplish what we have. They don't all turn out like my story, but you don't know unless you try... it is possible!
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